I always wondered what it would feel like to look down and see a plus sign on the pregnancy test. I made fun of the women that took multiple tests, I mean if it says pregnant you're pregnant right! Nine pregnancy tests later, strung out over a week of obsessing, and I was told by my loving husband that if I continued to spend tons of money on tests that we soon wouldn't be able to afford the baby. Point taken.
So I'm pregnant. No one tells you that once you take that test you can hurry up and wait because no one really wants to talk to you until you're close to eight weeks along. Considering my first positive test came a whole week before my expected period I had plenty of time for relaxing and quiet reflection on this life changing event. Yeah, that's what I did. I spent a majority of my days googling every itch, cramp, headache, craving, lack of craving, mood, lack of mood. Other hours were spent staring at my belly button. Can we talk about prenatals? Who would have thought there were that many prenatal vitamin brands; more importantly who would have thought you would ever be standing in the pharmacy staring at a row of vitamins like it was a red wire, blue wire situation. They are vitamins, literally a multivitamin, just a big dang vitamin. Anyway, so you walk up to the pharmacist. Surely they will know which wire to cut, They stare at you like a dumb first timer and sigh, "they are really all the same; talk to your doctor". Doctor! I haven't seen my doctor yet. So you grab the most expensive one because surely that means it is the best and make your way to check out, should i get a test....no...no test.
I've been lucky in the way of morning sickness as in I really haven't had any. Sure I wake up sometimes and feel like I'm walking through the bow of a boat but nothing too severe. Another symptom of pregnancy no one tells you about but that will surely scare the snot out of you, cramps. Constant nagging, aching cramps. Talk about walking on egg shells; every cramp was followed by a hand on the stomach and a whisper "you ok in there?" Needless to say while all these things are happening you can be sure in the small amount that you actually sleep through the night that you are sure to experience some odd dreams. My favorite is the one where the do the ultrasound and I'm pregnant with a puppy, not just any puppy, the Blues Clue puppy. In the dream Shawn gets upset and says "thats not mine" and we all cry and then the puppy leaves a paw print on the screen. Worst of all is every morning after I would wake up humming...blues cluesss.....bluesss cluesss.... blues clue.
I went in for some standard blood work after I called the nurse to complain of cramps. Blood was taken Wednesday and then again on Friday. Friday when I went in I was told my levels looked great HCG was at 89,000. The next Monday though I received a concerning call, the doctor wanted me to come in for an ultrasound. Oh God, something's wrong.
Mustering my best I'm ok voice I called Shawn and said guess what it's time to meet the baby.....then I cried. Come on I got hormones coming out the wood work, I can't even listen to commercials much less country and you expected me not to lose it? So we arrived to the doctor and got the talk; my HCG was fine but my progesterone was low and not rising, a typical miscarriage red flag. A few seconds later and Dr. Herr said, "well good news, that's a little heart beat" and then she turned on the sound. Wow. The most beautiful sound in the world. Of course through the tears I giggle as I remember that I forgot to tell Shawn that the heartbeat would be very fast. His concerned voice cracked in, um it's really fast. The doctor and I reassured him that it was perfect and I grabbed his hand, we were officially parents.
We left the office with ultrasound pictures and progesterone prescription in hand, oh and a prescription for prenatals because I asked my doctor. The reassuring words of Dr. Herr were ringing in my ears, "your chances of miscarriage just dropped below 5%". Staring at the pictures Shawn pointed out that we appeared to have created a turtle, great I will be sure to remember to tell our child that its father thought it looked like a turtle. The turtle head Shawn was seeing was actually the baby's yolk sac, a great sign for a healthy baby. I personally thought that the baby looked like a gummie bear, it was even doing a little jig for us on the ultrasound.
So now we wait and try not to second guess every symptom and lack of symptom that comes along. November 1st is our next visit with our baby. I will update my blog as often as possible with thoughts, happenings and of course more pictures. I hope you enjoy this journey with us and follow along.
All our love, The Ashley Clan.
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